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For more than 60 years we’d slept together every night, except for when I had my knee replaced, And as I threw the covers back, I knew that this would be the longest night that I had ever faced. Just as I’d suspected, it would actually be exhaustion that finally wore me down and closed my eyes, The way it does undoubtedly for anyone whose heart is torn in two when someone special dies. Predictably, I laid awake for six or seven hours, finally dozing off at early dawn, Then awoke an hour later - just as unprepared - to face the truth that she, in fact, was gone. Just as we’d discussed, I started doing things we felt were likely best to do in this event. Things like playing favorite music…watching favorite films…and going places we had often went. The hardest parts were telling folks - who didn’t know she’d died - why it was they’d found me on my own… Eating meals…shopping…at the hardware store, or bank - most had never seen me out alone. As my crying lessened - and to help my heart gain strength - I often turned to photos of our “past” To spend a little time with her…knowing how much pictures can help our sweetest memories to last. And all the while - as I’ve lived on - without her by my side - I’ve clearly seen her face through every tear, and…even though she’s not around to hug me when I’m down… I can guarantee you…she’s still here.
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