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First it was pubs that weren’t open, And then shops that were not essential, And then even schools weren’t admitting, But to me that’s inconsequential. Cos I haven’t got school age children, But worried hotels were closed too If I needed some company later, What would me and others now do? I called them, the voicemail the answer, It said they were closed for a while, You could leave them a message for later, But that really isn’t my style. They said regulars would get priority, On the reopening day, But I don’t know my needs in advance so, I hung up and thought how to play. There’s plenty of internet pleasure, And pictures that we have all seen, But I thought I’d go back to my teen years, And find a top shelf magazine. So I went to the adult store for it, But no, their door padlocked as well, A sign on the door gave the reason, Why no point ringing the bell. So instead I returned to my laptop, I locked my door, put down the key, Prepared for my evening encounter, But something was missing, you see. It didn’t feel right on my own so, I thought I’d try camera chat, I signed up complete registration, What could be more simple than that? So I clicked on the button to start things, But wished I had never come here, Cos the woman I saw on my screen now, My sis who’d had the same idea! They closed the brothel contest 14 February 2021
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