Email Poem

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Subject
Personal Note:
Poem Title:
Poem
My insides feel damaged, 
like someone 
is squeezing 
them with 
their fists.  
Many seasons, 
many reasons. 
Why do I do such things? 
I wish 
I could answer you my dear, 
give you the best me, 
but I can’t seem to see 
through the thick clouds 
surrounding me. 
I sit in the sky, 
I look down and see 
how much hurt 
I have caused to you 
and my family. 
I do not pretend 
it is not there, 
or that I don’t care. 
It is just too hard 
to accept, 
accept the truth, 
that I am a beautiful 
mess, 
a puzzle 
not put together, 
a little girl 
in a big scary world,
always feeling 
stress.  
I feel lost and alone, 
so much pain inside,
it never resides 
except in a few special moments. 
Most of them with you. 
Writing my words on paper 
helps the pain flow 
out in ink 
and tears
falling 
on 
my 
desk.
I wish 
these demons 
would rest 
and give me 
a break 
from the hell, 
the stress, 
so I can stop 
doing things that hurt 
the one person 
that floats 
in the sky with me, 
never letting 
me 
fall 
down 
to 
the 
ground 
from the heavy weight 
on my back, 
wanting me 
to dive 
down 
without a parachute,
without anything 
stopping me 
from hitting hard
into the earth’s dirt, 
no longer soft, no longer 
filled with beautiful flowers 
and green grass. 
It is only dark, black soil, 
filled with rocks and stones. 
Why do I always feel so alone? 
I wish it would go away, 
please let it go away. 
I don’t want to leave 
this earth before my time, 
before I fly, 
before I make more memories 
with you and I. 
My one true love, 
the only one 
I have ever loved 
so deeply.  
I am very sorry, 
so sorry my heart aches, 
that I have hurt 
you again. 
I wish I could stop, 
I wish 
so many things, 
but I don’t know 
if my wishes 
will come true. 
The one thing 
I know for sure, 
without a doubt 
in the world, 
is that I love you 
with every ounce 
of light in my soul.  
Without you, 
I would plummet 
to 
the 
ground, 
broken bones 
and blood gushing 
from my body 
into a pool of red 
on the blackness 
underneath me.  
I love you, that is all 
I know.
I hope you can feel it 
even when it is covered over 
by the darkness
that always follows me
follows me
wherever I go.
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