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When you call me a beast, when you spit venom.. How can i love you? No: i shall die. I saw your ships and people waiting for us; so i waited too. But my heart, my heart of all hearts, did not like the sight of you, and went home with no expectations, with the ghosts of all your love boats gone; my heart of all hearts will not believe. The sun you showed me never rose again. i am sad. He puts himself in his little chair to read and leaves to rejoin the hot sweat of the earth. i saw him. And he put his little eyes upon me. i asked him to read my story. i said i am writing it for you. He took off his glasses. Now i see that he is not a prince but a monkey. His legs are crooked. And his eyebrows are three sizes too big. And his hair is black and white; his eyes are bright yellow and red; and so the purple moustache and the blue flowers that grow from his finger tips; flesh he must peel with his fingers or his teeth. Oh, he said. (he says) You should not be afraid to write a story. Writing is a little like being raped. There is one girl in every house and one girl in every room and one girl in every and one girl in the cubicle of the toilet; and they are all my victims. She does not want to be my victim; but she is being my victim. What is rape? You think it is to carry a lock of hair. What is rape? When the pain of living is so strong that there is no room for love. Or they take away the most beautiful birds, the creatures that fly and the animals with wings, but leave the things that have no life, like a spider or a fly or a dandelion, to carry its seeds into the street (she is my lover) to be eaten by rats and lice, to live it is life in the straw of the morning air. What is rape? To take away the kisses, the eyes, the mouth, the tenderness of your cheeks, the tiny lips, to rape your body when your love is not in it. I did not know this love, but now it is my burden and it is my fault. This is the meaning of its life in the straw of the morning air. What is rape? To take away the kisses, the eyes, the mouth, the tenderness of your cheeks, the tiny lips, to rape your body when your love is not in it. I did not know this love, but now it is my burden and it is my fault. This is the meaning of Life within flesh. :: 01.19.2021 ::
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