Email Poem

Your IP Address: 216.73.216.110

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Poem

Courier life.

We'll tell you we will deliver at 1000-1130.

We send a text at 1046 that you are the next customer
Our delivery tracking map shows our driver 12 minutes and a mile away.

By 1400 the parcel has not arrived 
The tracking shows the driver still 12 minutes and a mile away.

At 1530 we send an email saying there is an issue but the parcel will definitely arrive today

At 2230 it has not arrived. The tracking app still shows it 12 minutes and a mile away.

The next day at 0820 we send an email saying the parcel will he delivered today. 

The tracking app shows the parcel at the depot 30 miles away.

Another email says it will be with you between 1200-1330.

We text at 1300 saying you are next
The tracking app shows we are 8 minutes and 700 metres away.

No parcel arrives

At 1400 the tracking has no details on your parcel.

At 1500 the tracking now shows proof of delivery at 1310 with a photograph of somebody's blurred thumb holding a piece of paper.

There is no parcel.

You will now spend several days arguing over whether the parcel was delivered or not, to whom, where and when.

You contact the seller who points at the thumb and paper photo as proof of delivery.

You have argument with seller who eventually sends a replacement via another courier which somehow arrives.

18 months later your original parcel is delivered in a shocking state, by some random bloke from Belgium who is passing on holiday whose neighbour found the parcel in his waterbutt last year.

(C) ian Diddams 2021

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