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Poem

I'm sorry that I'm hurting you
With all I seem to do
Adding to the list, another thing
The pain my actions bring
For me, you cross the line forbidden
For you, I'll keep it hidden
I don't want to hurt you, or crush your heart
But I can't keep away from your beautiful word art
I was warned not to forget the love they have for me
But with solitary time & distance, that love I no longer see
But you, though much appreciated--it hurts to feel your love
Would it still be there if you knew the things I've done, the wrong you can't think of?
It's not that I just want the world, I'd rather end this life
If I had the guts to do it, I'm sure I'd gladly end MY strife
But it's selfish (and expensive) for those I leave behind
I often think just keeping awake is already much too kind
I don't want to say that I'm gone for good
But I can't say I'll do what I know I should
I still hurt over broken promises, that I'll cry over in my sleep
So I refuse to make such promises that I might not be able to keep
As much as it hurts that I'm where I am
In a place where I find that He condemns
I'm leading a life in which I'm sure of its end
But it's the whole reason we became friends
Before was just casual, an occasional hello
You couldn't see my pressures, you knew not my woe
Now you're the only one who sees me because you know where you can look
You can read my short stories, but you can't skip to the end of the book
And I wish you wouldn't love me if it only causes sorrow
I can't tell you the future, just that I'm not coming back tomorrow
I think the smiles you give to me only brings you pain
And so I'd give it up, be sad for you, if it meant joy you could attain
So if it hurts too much, then let it go, let me go, let me be
It'll sting at first but don't worry; I'll understand completely

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