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he just meant to go for a pit stop of water

fell off the wagon and drowned once again

on the road to futile self-imposed slaughter

conflict full blown addiction and endless pain


once a man of status respect and composure

he puked and landed in a puddle of his spew

as he swerved home after too much exposure

of liquor which was the only solution he knew


his place was a broken bottle of cheap booze

sheltering fragile guilt fear anger and blame

with not much to gain but nothing left to lose

but a last dregg from illusion numbing his shame


he passed cardboard shelters and toothless tramps

thought them lucky in the shadow of lost time 

faced vomit once more and shook a few hands

drew comfort from companions covered in grime


they have reached Atlantis and Nirvana he grinned

under wretched breath undeterred by his own smell

he gave them a few coins although he was skinned

may the good fortune speed up their passage to hell


not long now and I will join them at my destination

free of my own hypocrisy and reach final rewards

of intemperate uselessness and ultimate salvation

reach out to oblivion both wished for and abhorred


as the cold will reach my innermost inebriated core

once my soul becomes the spirit of true liberation

pickled in drunken demise wasted by a last score

my heart will stop beating and I’m past temptation  


23rd December 2020

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