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The why of who I am would take a book
to give full explanation, but right here
I’ll spell it out – though I cannot be brief,
for many things have formed the who I am.

My mother was religious. Born that way,
she searched for something missing in her life.
She married young; religion got her through
a stressful marriage with a man unhinged.

My father’s mental illness had no cure.
I think while in my mother’s womb, I felt
her nervousness, for I have always been
a person filled with nervous energy.

I would not sleep till late; I ran about
and early learned to walk, to run and talk.
An independent child, the eldest too,
I taught my sisters things – thus helping Mom.

My early memories seem melancholy,
I’m told the father that I dearly loved
could not reciprocate his love too well,
and so aloofness in me came to be.

I often played alone (so I am told).
I swang; I made mud pies and formed parades
with animals (not dolls). I loved stories
that mother told us – they were fairy tales.

One’s childhood is a big part of the who
a person is, yet mine does not explain
how different from my sisters I became
nor all the changes that would come to me.

Inside a shell I seemed to always be,
not understanding why I felt such need
to be accepted by my peers at school
where popularity alluded me.

In junior high, at last I broke that shell.
I felt a giddiness of wittiness
come over me. The friendships I attained
were few but strong. My intellect grew too.

Religiosity I’d strived to gain,
for church predominated in my life.
But I could not be like my family.
I prayed and studied, but found not their faith.

And so it was I went through half my life
attending church, not really “feeling” it.
I know that God exists, and that’s enough,
for I’ve developed a philosophy.

How can there be a one true church when God
loves all His children equally? The Hell
I think we'll ever know is feeling pain
like that which we give others - so be kind!

I’ve studied tests for personalities,
astrology and numerology.
I know myself completely – flaws and all,
and I accept myself for who I am.

I’m strong-willed, but I don’t like to impose
my will on others. Few are my life’s goals.
I drift along with what life hands to me -
most thankful for the good that comes along.

My horoscope abounds with elements
of mostly earth (a little fire and air).
I’m thrifty, conscientious, down to earth.
No puzzles do I care to figure out.

I know the stories Mother read to me
were simply fairy tales, but still romance
lives in my poetry, for I have got
a dreamy and romantic side to me.

In numerology the number Five
abounds in me. It proves the reason why
I love to play; I’m all for having fun,
so hard work I avoid along with stress.

My nervous energy I put into
the things I love, and I am quite obsessed
with fitness, writing, movies! And I’ve read
a ton of books since I was in my youth.

My destiny is Seven, seeker of
life's truths, and I believe my truth’s evolved.
Like Mother and my sisters I can’t be,
so I am simply true to being me!

I like things simple, and I love a plot!
I live for a good tale. When not awake,
I’m making stories in my dreams. Yes, I’m
an odd black sheep, and I am fine with that!

Nov. 15, 2020 for Silent One's 
It's A Part Of Me - Life And The Perceptions And Philosophies You Hold Poetry Contest
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