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I wondered how that I could be a child of the King. A long lost soul, I had no goal, but to maybe act and sing. I believed in Jesus, a man of love, But scared to death of God above. Why would Jesus die for me, and why would His Father let Him? It broke my heart, tore me apart, I walked toward shadows dim. I believed Jesus as a man who once had roamed the earth, A lover, not a hater, yet I questioned Virgin's birth. I memorized William Shakespeare, I Juliet became, I barely glimpsed the big black book, translated by King James. I slipped into a lot of pews, barely hearing the Good News, Until I pushed it all away, one cold and lonely winter day. In anger I told a block of wood the sorrows of my heart, And complimented it's patient stance, and let it play it's part. Empty! Oh so Empty! Angered. Sorrowed..... pained. I walked away completely, in uttermost disdain. I was at a crucial moment as I cried and cursed my lot, Believing my life was in vain and all of it just rot. Why THEN did You come forth to me, in my shear pain and misery? I was readying to throw Your book, whose words I could not see! Why would those words upon that page not form a bit of sense? Those ancient English word forms that I'd abandoned hence. When quick the thought arose in me, William Shakespeare's...I could see, In fact they were so clearly wrought, I memorized and ner forgot. I took Your book upon my lap, with that provoking thunderclap. I asked if You were really God, and Jesus Christ Your Son, With that I sensed You near to me, my pondering had begun. I saw the opaque scales fall that were once upon my eyes, I read sentences, and chapters, no longer to despise. Skipping to the end, as I was wont to do, I read the Revelation, revealing to me, You... In terror did I read those words of that...the end of all, I skipped the book of Genesis, I'd heard about the fall. Suddenly very tiny seemed the horrors of my day. I lifted up my shaking Heart, I know You heard me pray. Though terror struck I did not fall back into my old rages, "How do I Lord, escape these things I've read upon these pages?" For this was more than literary fancy writ of art, No longer was I acting, I'd never played this part. "30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God, with all of thy heart..." "But God! I do not know You, and God I dare not lie, When within my very heart You see!" (I had this alibi) "Do I love You as much as my parents or sis? or even Spot my pet? I don't love You, I don't know You, I cannot love You yet." I knew somehow I had right then an audience of Him, Within my mind I felt Him near, when all my life was dim. "Help me to know You, so I may, escape the horrors of judgement day" Somehow I knew He heard me, He heard each thought I prayed. I could not present myself to Him a Child of the King, I'd felt the crushing doubts of life and it's cruel and vicious sting. But what He then presented was all so new to me, It was easier than imagined, simple as ABC. Admit I was a sinner? Oh yes, with surety. Believe Jesus is the Savior? I did, He helped me see. Confess He was my Savior: Yes, He is the Lord. As easy as the ABC"s, I read, believed His Word. I wondered once how I could be a child of the King. A long lost soul, I had no goal, but to maybe act and sing. Then I believed in Jesus, Son of God come to the earth, He is God within the flesh of man, and that through The Virgin's birth. He there upon a cross of pain, nails in His feet and hands, Jesus died, was buried, on the third day rose again, He loves, He cares He understands. I know...from whence I've been. I was a long lost soul, who had no goal, but to maybe act and sing. Was saved by grace through Jesus Christ, who is my God and King. His pleasure was to save me, a lost and dying soul, Now eyes on Him, my Savior, I finally have a goal. Note from author: When I asked "How can I escape these things?" I opened the Bible to this verse. The Bible is a big book, and I know it was no coincidence that I found this verse immediately: Mark 12:30-31 30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. 31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these." KJV I couldn't love God, because I didn't know Him. I asked Him to help me to know Him, and He did, I found a wonderful church and a lot of new friends who helped me to get know God so much better. It took nothing on my part, to ask Him to forgive me of my sins, to be my Lord, my savior. Once I knew what He had done for me, I truly did love the Lord and wanted to follow Him! As I read the Bible, His words directed me on how to live my life and to follow Him. I could not change myself, I'm still on that road, He helps me in my walk in life in a personal relationship with Him. I know the miracle of God's intervention saved me from a terrible fate. I know and fear where I would be now if not for His incredible love reaching out to me in that desperate time. My new beginning in a walk with the Lord began with trusting Him, and getting to know Him through His word, the Bible. I love the verse "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." ~Proverbs 3:5-6 I know this is true. As well as "Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.” ~Acts 4:12 KJV I learned that through my experience. I pray that others will find the joy and hope that I found in Him as well :)
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