Email Poem

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Personal Note:
Poem Title:
Poem
Sometimes I want to 
move freely in the wind 
and spread my wings 
Enjoy the feel of a 
summer breeze
resting beneath them
I often anticipate 
daylight tickling my 
funny bone until I 
crack a smile
as the sun plants soft
kisses on my skin
Maybe I should 
invite hope to take me 
for long walks in 
the park or dance with 
me in the sandbox
along with my inner child
I long to I plant daisies 
in the sky
Pick diamonds from the 
silver lining of the clouds
I've always wanted 
to do that while listening 
to God's laughter as 
it gently touches 
my eardrums like 
angel feathers
People have asked 
me to paint a dream
Paint MY dreams so they
could see what my
thoughts look like
but for me 
It's not always that easy
I find it hard to rest
when the nightmares
come to bully me 
Usher me out from 
my safe place 
leaving me inside 
the pocket of 
it's darkness
I've tried to fall 
asleep under a warm 
blanket of happiness
but the induced labor 
of my vulnerability 
loves to pull the cover
off as my transparency 
is put on display
My world, most times
can be quite unforgiving
and I don't think you 
have any idea why
Yet you believe it to 
be simple to will 
myself out of it
Move they say
but how when the 
quicksand of my 
insecurities keep
sucking me in
as my shoes anchor me
down to my failures
It's not always easy
pretending to live
my best life while
contemplating ending it
I don't think you know
how much strength
it takes to pull myself
up from deep within
You tell me to just...
You say that I should...
I'd try if I could but 
for each time I move head
something stronger
than motivation 
pulls me right back
to where it thinks I belong
It's not that easy
to stand dormant in 
my footsteps in front
of a mirror staring
at the reflection of
my own regret
I long to ride a hobby
off into the sunset
crochet until my pain
subsides
Bake a pan of love
fill with way too much
confection
I imagine drawing a
better situation on 
a fresh canvas
but I cannot
and please don't 
ask me to
It may be a piece of
cake for you but for me
It's not always that easy
4-4-2020
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