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As I rummage through the pages of my life
I remember my married life
The hustle bustle the joys and the strife
There was no time for rest and relaxation
I was mother of 5 children
Taking care of their studies
Along with household duties
We were poor
Only one room was there
We still manage beautifully together
It was not easy
I had to toil daily
To ensure all were happy
There were five marriages in all
We managed it after all
I had to work harder at those times
Spend many sleepless night at times
My children became doctor lawyer teacher engineer manager
They moved to a house that was bigger
Life got busier
I had to take care of my grandchildren …..

Now I am bedridden
They have put me in old age home
They said you will be comfortable here mom
I do nothing
Maid takes care of everything
I merely sit and think
Why I sacrificed my youth and savings
On these selfish beings
I wish I had enjoyed life
Instead of serving them day and night
This is what I get in return
For all that I did for them
Life without gratitude and compassion.
They treated me like a piece of wood
Chucked me out when I was of no use
It is very painful
I have everything
But life is so boring
Bare walls are killing
The room is bigger than my original house
But without hustle bustle children
Size is of no use
I don't want material comforts
I want love and joyful faces
I search around for people with feelings
I long to hear I care for your well being
Children rarely come to visit
That is very bad indeed
I cannot do anything
For I have nothing
I spent everything
For my children’s well being
Even the bare walls laugh at me
For all my stupidity
They seem to say you should have kept something
For future old age living
You shouldn't have had so much expectations
from your own children
The world is full of selfish creatures
Is it not eternally clear?
Here i a long to talk to someone
He need not be my own
The maid does her duty
She has no love for me
She finishes fast and goes away
I wish at least she would stay
I merely sit and wonder
What my children would be doing there?
I wish they would come
And take me away from here
Life of love and compassion
Different festivals in different season
I live them in my mind
I can no longer see them in life
Daily I wait for a phone call to come
Nothing comes no one has time
I always thought when I die here
I have four sons to lit my funeral pyre
But now that confidence is no longer there
They don't even visit me here
Not even a phone call to say
Dear mom happy birthday
You did much beyond what words can say
I am sorry I just couldn't repay.
That would have comforted me
I would have been somewhat happy
At least they feel for me
I wish God would take me away
I pray for it everyday
But it seems he too is merciless
He too doesn’t care for my sadness
Although I did so much
I am waiting here for an inglorious death
One girl comes everyday
For 10 minutes she does stay
I see the world through her
To me she is dear
Sometimes she buys my favourite chocolate
Some fruits or biscuits
I really look forward to her visit
The World is not bad indeed
She is my unborn daughter
I wish all the world for her
I pray to God to bless her
I wish there would be many more like her
Who have time for old people here
When I die I know my family would not be there
Now I have ended all my desire
I chant gods name and wish such a situation
Would never befall on my children
Yes about them I still care
I am after all their mother
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