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Poem

Post Trauma

At night when midnight comes to call
I lie, afraid to go to sleep.
I know the terrors that will crawl
From the dream chest where I keep
The sounds, the smells, the sights that roam
The dark recesses of my mind
From some broken chromosome
The broken soul I left behind.

The animal portion of my brain
From some prehistoric day
Asserts itself, begins its reign,
Elbows the thinking part away
Mobilizing heart and limb
Ready to fight and scream and die
Ready to act on ancient whim
Act with never asking “why?”

The sense of balance I once bore
Was shredded on that battlefield.
Blown to fragments, soaked with gore
Mixed with fear that will not yield.
The shock and awe of death unwelcome
Sent my sense of reason reeling.
And now when the fires of Hell come
I stand frozen and unfeeling.

I  don't want comfort, won’t cry out.
I’m only safe when I’m alone.
In my internal walkabout
I cannot take you, though you moan.
You in the world of sense and light
Can’t begin to comprehend
How with the never ending fright
I can never have a friend.

Perhaps this demon may be slain
Through some intensive meditation,
Or reaching deep inside my brain
Some sedating medication.
But I will wait till my angel comes
Whether spirit, flesh or flame.
To free me from the madding drums
And give me back my soul and name.

(The preface to my novel 'Invisible" available on Amazon)

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