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Sitting in the dressing room, If you can call it that, Reading through my notes again, I’ve not got this off pat. It’s better than an open mic, I’ve actually been booked, But if I mess it up tonight, They’ll tell me that I sucked. They’re waiting for top of the bill, But he’s not on till nine, For me this is my debut, And they’re saying I’ll do fine. It may be just a dingy bar, Where comedy takes place, But if my stand up debut fails, I’ll have such a sad face. The MCs on the stage right now, My nerves are kicking in, He’s bonding with the audience, Before my jokes begin. I hear a bit of laughter, And the heckles seem quite light, Only now 5 minutes, Until it’s my debut night. The audience three quarter’s full, There’s footy on tv, And I know if I’m honest, That they’re not here to see me, But I prepared my notes and stories, Even had a bath, Dressed up for my only task, To try to make them laugh. And so my time’s arriving, As they turn the lighting down, Ten minutes with the microphone, First session, modern clown. I walk to centre of the stage, I nod then say “how do”, They clap enthusiastically, As I start my debut! It could have started better, As I tripped on to the stage, At least it got them laughing, So I ought to get my wage. They liked some of my stories, And a few jokes went down well, And now I’ve really done it, There’s a new story to tell. My mouth’s dry now I’ve finished, And I’ve made my debut here, So to the bar at interval, I’ll just have one swift beer. I’ll stay to watch the others, Though they’ve done this stuff for years, I got some quite polite applause, Though they’ll get raucous cheers. It wasn’t a disaster, There’s some jokes I’ll have to tweak, Yes now I’m a comedian, And I’ll be back next week!
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