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I will not be silent anymore

This beating sound in my chest
This rythm urging words to spill out, 
Words I have swallowed lest you judge me 
Words I have feared to utter 
Afraid to hear disbelief in your reply
Yes...to see doubt and spite in your eyes

This beating drums deafening my ears
Shutting the world out 
The world that has refused to hear my silent screams
The world that has rejected my pleas for help
Their beat has kept me sane.

I have carried the scourge and pain too long
I have buried your insults so deep they have become a part of me
I no longer hear your brawls and drunken snores as you breathe down my throat
Your coarse smoke reeking hands will not touch my breast any more
Nor will they pat my bum as I pass by you

Your feigned control over me
Your scary threats that have haunted my mind are slowly fading, failing
These scars you have carved on my emotion
Stay with me, a constant reminder
An awakening alarm, rising me to a change I have become 

I will not be silent anymore
I will not let you do to me what you have done so many times 
Over and over
And you let me believe it was my fault!
That I teased and provoked you!

I was 12, barely a child
What did I know about flirtatious moves or sexual maneuvers
You manipulated me 
You took advantage of my innocence
But I will not be silent anymore

I will shout to the mountains to carry my words in their echoes
Streams will flood with my tears as they move with my pain
The breeze shall cease if only to listen
to drift my words further 
And if nobody hears me

Let the land dry and be plagued
Let the rivers, the clear waters of my land, muddy
Wax the ears of those who turn a deaf to my cries
Because like he, they have murdered my spirit
Mutilated my youth and dreams my mother raised me to have

But my laments will not be in vain
My howls will not go unheard
Because I will keep retelling my story 
over and over
As many times as you've touched me
Until someone listens and believes 
Until someone hears and acts
I will not be silent...

By Moliehi Molupe (c) 2020
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