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It took him two trips to set it all up.
He kept it simple just the way 
he thought she'd like it.. 
A basket of fruit and ritz crackers
ham and cheese sandwiches,,,
and her favorite
a giant wedge of orange chocolate..
He did splurge a bit
on the bottle of pink champagne
and a spray of red roses.
He hid the question and the humble little ring
in the knot of an old birch tree... 
Pleased by the way it all turned out
as he headed for the edge of the meadow
to take a simple man pee...
Thinking about how she'd been 
a little bit off and distant lately,

Upwind and just to the side 
there was a large crack of branches..
his heart nearly came off its tracks, 
grizzly, quickly flashed across his mind.
He was relieved when mamma dear and her yearling 
tip-doed into the sunlit clearing.
Sniffing the air for sudden death and berry patches.
Mamma dear shyly plucked a juicy granny smith from the basket
the yearling preferred a clementine..
The wind suddenly shifted-they bounded off into the thicket
with a silent thank you, lost upon the breeze.

The sun was a couple hours past its prime
when he realized she wasn't coming...,love is a patient beast... 
So, he drank a half bottle of pink disappointment
gorged on the chunk of orange chocolate.
He gathered up the broken picnic for one.
He left the rest of the fruit and spray of roses
to the skinny doe and her yearling.
He grabbed back the ring 
from the heart of the old birch tree.
He crashed down the mountain, 
with a ham and cheese sandwich 
jammed in his champagne mouth, 
heading for the valley of explanation.

The next day she coldly told him 
that she'd got tangled up in family matters.
but the truth was that his best friend  
had secrete plans of his own..had sabotaged everything.
He told her about the surprise champagne picnic 
and about the time her boyfriend had strayed,
over to the wrong side of the tracks
with a wild little elfin tramp.

The best friend held her tight, dried her tears
but after a six pack and some cheap weed.
They both had a big belly laugh
when he told her that the  
"cheap teenie weenie grease monkey ring",
was probably forever lost
in the butt of that old birch tree.

Within a season she left both grease monkeys
and their teenie weenie rings-
She headed down the mountain for glitter town
married a man with a big sharp house
clean hands and a big city ring-
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