Email Poem

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Have you ever lost someone so close to you
When they left your heart just broke in half
Your pieces we’re never glued back together the way they should be
People wonder what made you build up your emotions 
Bottle them up and throw them away
When they left you they left the fact you couldn’t 
hold them
Talk to them
Smell their certain scent 
There gone the only things left is memories 
Then you noticed you messed up and didn’t realize how long they were really gonna stay with you
It’s been 3 years
3 years since she passed away
And I miss her
Our conversations
Her hugs
Her scent
Everything about her I miss
I have our memories in my head 
But I crave more
I wish I was back in elementary school 
Sitting in the hallways waiting for my name to get called
Heading out to see her car and getting in
If I’m lucky she’s give me until 4:30 to do my homework
If I’m lucky instead of her sleeping in her chair she sleeps with me on the bed
I would get home ask her to make me some ice cream, cheese crackers, or even  Mac and cheese 
I would go in the side living room close the door and watch YouTube
Until it’s time for homework
I would go and sit on the floor on her brown carpet and undo my bookbag and use her coffee table and read
Sometimes skip pages so I can say I read
Just to get back on that computer 
Around 5:30 she would come in and ask me what I wanted to eat and she would make the best black eye peas 
No one could do it better than her
After dinner she would help me get ready for bed and pick out my clothes with me 
Then we would lay down and watch Chip and Joanna flip houses 
Wake up to her sitting beside me shaking me 
Helping me get ready
Having cheese grits for breakfast 
Leaving and going to school
Some days I wouldn’t have it so easy with her
As I got older I payed less attention and she was hurting 
We took her away to my house and took care of her
All she wanted was to drive home and see him
She missed him
She wanted to be free
Drive around 
Then April came around in 2017
I was running late and she was awake but barley talking
I didn’t have time to say I love you
Or goodbye
And you can’t have someone leave your life forever without goodbye or I love you
It doesn’t work like that
And it shouldn’t 
But it did
Momma said that the woman that came to clean her came over and her and my sister were laughing 
She saw them being happy 
And she took her last breathe 
And left 
I came home and she was gone
I want her back.
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