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Poem

The Betrayal of Love Last Forever

Someone other than me has held you
I knew
Some one other than me has touched you
Has seen you
And though I have never entered on this betrayal
Still I loved you

Someone has tasted what was mine
Someone other than me
Has invaded this singular gift of love
And left this rape in my heart
To remind me
That only I have seen
What I have seen
But not only I have been
Where I have been
Naked in your naked arms

His caresses on your skin
Are scratches in my head
Never healing
And somewhere you’re combined and heavy breathing
Creates a choke
And a rip in my mind
Though forgiving has long since brought its balm
And heeling has extended me
Her gentle tending calm
To think that I new him and he new me
And to think you were both so ready
Fires a passage through my thoughts
An unbidden spasm of mental cramp

And I love you now as I ever did
But I find I have not forgotten
Through all these years
The hurt still echoes
An aching ghost in my throat
And still I love you
Yet there is no test for the endurance of that love
There are no words
To describe well enough
What you meant to me
And what you did to me

So I would rather not have
Than have to live dishonestly
I don’t think you will ever know
What your confessions destroyed in me
I don’t think you will ever understand
The blood in the scar of that memory
So truth is better for the honesty
And a lie is a patch which peels eventually

I loved you
And am and was incapable of anything else
And I know what love involves
But I hate the reminder and its memory
And I am glad of the time
And for the time
That never brought you back to me
I loved you
I am in love with you
Perhaps more than I choose to be
Perhaps more than is and was good for me

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