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Dear father I mean sperm donor I really can’t believe you’re washing your hands of me as if 14 and a half years wasn’t enough time without me by the way I'm 16 now for a hot second you thought you wanted me but then you didn't get your way and you dropped me like a call with a bad connection and the way you did it left me breathless 

sitting on the front steps of my grandma’s porch as hot tears rolled down my face ready to pass out hoping I die in my sleep remembering as a little girl I used to wish for you every birthday every Christmas every holiday I asked for you hoping that one day you’d come into my life and stay the saying every little girl wants their father has never been more true than today

I let you in thinking that this time would be different filling myself up with false hope I had the courage to come talk to you even though I knew you weren't trying to hear it continuously begging for your love and affection even though you treated me different 

I still wanted to be perfect for you thinking it would make you stay and want me, hacking apart my body and losing you holds the same pain 

it’s like you only wanted me around to say you were apart of my greatness when in reality you were apart of my depression loving you hurts me and although I still want it I realize that your love comes with more pain than I can bare

I'm sorry things didn't work and im sorry you felt unloved we started on the wrong foot but it wasn't my fault I've spent my whole life wishing for you but maybe it just wasn't meant to be and thinking that hurts me

 one day you will feel the pain I feel and beg for my forgiveness my love and because I want to be better I will forgive you but for right now I'm the angry black woman Tyler Perry himself wrote about...

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