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Limericks IV - Donald Trump The Hair Flap by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition" The hair flap was truly a scare: Trump’s bald as a billiard back there! The whole nation laughed At the state of his graft; Now the man’s wigging out, so beware! Stumped and Stomped by Trump by Michael R. Burch There once was a candidate, Trump, whose message rang clear at the stump: "Vote for me, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!, because I am ME, and everyone else is a chump!" Toupée or Not Toupée, That is the Question by Michael R. Burch There once was a brash billionaire who couldn't afford decent hair. Vexed voters agreed: "We're a nation in need!" But toupée the price, do we dare? Toupée or Not Toupée, This is the Answer by Michael R. Burch Oh crap, we elected Trump prez! Now he's Simon: we must do what he sez! For if anyone thinks And says his "plan" stinks, He'll wig out 'neath that weird orange fez! White as a Sheet by Michael R. Burch Donald Trump had a real Twitter Scare then rushed off to fret, vent and share: “How dare Bernie quote what I just said and wrote? Like Megyn he’s mean, cruel, unfair!” Humpty Trumpty by Michael R. Burch Humpty Trumpty called for a wall. Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall. Now all the Grand Wizards and Faux PR men Can never put Trumpty together again. Viral Donald (I) by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition" Donald Trump is coronaviral: his brain's in a downward spiral. His pale nimbus of hair proves there's nothing up there but an empty skull, fluff and denial. Viral Donald (II) by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition" Why didn't Herr Trump, the POTUS, protect us from the Coronavirus? That weird orange corona of hair's an alarm: Trump is the Virus in Human Form! No Star by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition" Trump, you're no "star." Putin made you an American Czar. Now, if we continue down this dark path you've chosen, pretty soon we'll all be wearing lederhosen. How the Fourth Reich Ramped Up by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition" Trump prepped his pale Deplorables: "You're such easy marks and scorables! So now when I bray click your heels and obey, and I'll soon promote you to Horribles!" Low-T Hell by Michael R. Burch Donnie's living in low-T hell ... His get-up has gone: Farewell! He needs to write checks if he wants to have sex, and his love life depends on a gel! The original version: Low-T Hell by Michael R. Burch I’m living in low-T hell ... My get-up has gone: Oh, swell! I need to write checks if I want to have sex, and my love life depends on a gel! Trump’s real goals are obvious and yet millions of Americans remain oblivious. —Michael R. Burch Less Heroic Couplets: Funding Fundamentals by Michael R. Burch "I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble." — Mark Twain Making sense from nonsense is quite sensible! Suppose you’re running low on moolah, need some cash to paint your toes ... Just invent a new religion; claim it saves lost souls from hell; have the converts write you checks; take major debit cards as well; take MasterCard and Visa and good-as-gold Amex; hell, lend and charge them interest, whether payday loan or flex. Thus out of perfect nonsense, glittery ores of this great mine, you’ll earn an easy living and your toes will truly shine! Less Heroic Couplets: Just Desserts by Michael R. Burch “The West Antarctic ice sheet might not need a huge nudge to budge.” And if it does budge, denialist fudge may force us to trudge neck-deep in sludge! The first stanza is a quote by paleoclimatologist Jeremy Shakun in *Science* magazine. Although I prefer onions to bunions, I still primarily defer to legal reefer. —Michael R. Burch Cancun Cruz by Michael R. Burch There once was a senator, Cruz, whose whole life was one pus-oozing schmooze. When Trump called his wife ugly, Cruz brown-nosed him smugly, then went on a sweet Cancún cruise! Anchors Aweigh! by Michael R. Burch There once was an anchor babe, Cruz, whose deployment was Castro’s bold ruse. Now the revenge of Fidel has worked out quite well as Cruz missiles launch from his caboose! Canadian Cruz by Michael R. Burch There was a Canadian, Cruz, an anchor babe with a bold ruse: he’d take Texas first and then do his worst to infect the whole world with his views. Keywords/Tags: limerick, nonsense, light, verse, humor, humorous, political, leadership, donald, trump, president, america, ignoramus, moron, imbecile, conman, fraud, liar, shill, criminal, huckster, snake oil salesman, Twitter, tweet, tweety
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