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I'm rereading Marshall Rosenberg's chapter on Anger, The big challenge for nonviolent communicators. Marshall, a StraightWhiteMale psychotherapist, repeatedly refers to feeling disappointment escalating into Loser-shamed anger sometimes further escalating into defensive red-hot blaming Rage risking lose/lose nihilistic outcomes for oneself and anyone in our self-righteous zealous fundamentally egocentric paths. I remember my anger with homophobic siblings, That they could not reasonably expect me to exercise LeftBrain dominant choice about which gender characteristics I feel see hear smell taste know as invitingly sexual and which more repulsive. I had and have no more choice than they pre-adolescently had and have to this day and this welcoming night. But, homophobic revulsion and heterophobic anger may be part of StraightWhite LeftBrain colonizing privilege, unlike victimized stigmatized GLBTQ and/or Person of Color marginalization, Patriarchal oppression is to believe you have more autonomous win/win and win/lose powers to cognitively choose than actually Elder RightBrain experienced and remembered as default win/win attraction, long before the neurological possibility of autonomous and privileged LeftBrain intelligent choice-making. Perhaps my StraightWhite siblings trust, in gospel faith, that God did gave them a preadolescent privileged choice, and they righteously chose heterosexual win/win dominant reproductive baby-making natural ecological relationships. It is difficult disappointing perhaps frightening and angering and even hateful rage producing ultra-negative emotional StraightWhite ego-sympathetic systemic revulsion to believe a sibling they trusted as a pure white child could make this my deviant choice despite all the LeftBrain gospel enculturation we white nationalist shared. But, all this disappointment and anger would, thereby, be rooted in an incorrect LeftBrain dominant assumption that StraightWhite Christian privileged people have divinely inspired powers to choose sexual attraction preference and they chose reproductive health where I deliberately chose degenerative pathology even though, by their evangelical definition, God did not create me privileged to choose StraightWhite Christianity. This imposed and commanding punishing straight-supremacist view, that my own irresponsible non-choice for the good and healthy straight and LeftBrain dominant obvious secularly purposeful and sacredly meaningful choice means I must be intrinsically evil, of the Devil, Contrary to my own ecosystemic health and safety world view and left/right polypathic autonomic experience, so I remain disappointed dissassociated by their anti-Christlike bigotry, self-righteously angry sometimes erupting into a red-hot climax of rage About always cast as victim in win/lose capitalistic patriarchal colonizing StraightWhiteMale dominant LeftBrain ecosystemic ecopolitical psycho-social neurological history of RightBrain sacred autonomic interdependent experience and LeftBrain verbal memory of consent/dissent, choice deliberation discernment of health/pathology and safety/danger values for win/win compassion multicultural connection eco-empathic polycultural resonant/deviant attaching/detaching compassionate/severing communication/chaos.
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