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It’s when you don't have
the money for a hit man.
And you know something
needs to be done.
If you have a hot date
and your boss asked you
to work late.
Dial 1-800 Whoop that ass!

The whoop ass delivery Service,
We will deliver a can of whup ass
anywhere to anyone at any time
day or night, 
if there wrong or right,
in any kind of weather.

Call and ask about
the wet ass whupping
for no extra charge.

For someone who needs
there Ass handed to them
Thee old fashion way.
Let us do that for you.
Dial 1-800 Whoop that ass.

On your request, 
we can leave them
on their feet 
or laying on the ground.
We can deliver a can of whup ass
in public or when no one's around.
Satisfaction Guaranteed
or we will tear that ass up.

If a loved one
doesn’t know how come home,
or people who get smart
with you on the phone.
Hang up and dial...
1-800 Whoop that ass.

The Whoop ass delivery Service
let’s you choose one of three sizes,
Small, (This is going to hurt)
Medium, (We're going to break something.)
and the Large. (Put them in the Hospital)

Each package comes with fightback insurance.
Just in case the subject’s tries to fight back
In which case
we will beat the snot out them.
Ladies if you want 
to keep your abusive husband in line,
then keep us in mind.
Dial 1-800 Whoop that ass.

Ladies our slap happy option
comes as a back-hand service.
Where at you request.
we can just slap the piss
out of them.
slap the taste out they mouth.
Or even slap them clean
into next week.
Dial 1-800 Whoop that ass.

And men we don't discriminate,
we can return the favor for a nominal fee.
We will slap people on both sides
of the family tree.
Dial 1-800 Whoop that ass.

We take Visa, Master card, and American Express.
But don't let credit problems get in the way!
You can even put an Ass Whooping on Lay-away.
Find us online at any time.  @WhoopthatAss.com
Copyright ISBN-13 978-19781188973
                   ISBN-10 197811897TX
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