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How did my Nanny know of the horrors that went on in our home?  Was it the palpable fear in my eyes, or her heavenly instinct?  Today, I believe she had a divine ability as an Angel chosen by God!
Nanny visited our home whenever Mom was in the hospital for things I never knew anything about or maybe just too young to understand.
As a weary child I thought Nanny truly felt a fondness for me by giving her undivided attention during these visits, but now I think, “Nanny must have known!”
When she was with me I felt relief and a temporary hopefulness in my heart.  Somehow, knowing I was safe for those special moments in time meant the world to a frightened child.
Outside children were fearful to play with a sad withdrawn child like me. I was lonely, afraid and ostracized.  
What did everyone see in my solemn expression and overwhelming shyness, that led them to keep away, did they feel pity or disgust?  What they should’ve seen was an innocent child of God.
As a child, the only time I remember laughing was when Nanny played hide and seek with my siblings and I, if she caught us, we got tickled this brought a smile.
When Nanny said, “Sit on my lap,” I happily did so as she brushed my hair for what seemed hours of perfect joy.  She tore up an old sheet making small white rags then tied them around pieces of my hair.  With great delight, the next day, I awoke with beautiful bouncy curls.
As Nanny, noticed my tattered clothes and shoes with gaping holes; she somehow scraped together her scarcity of money to buy me shoes.  She asked which ones I liked, I chose the pink ones. They were the prettiest and most wonderful thing I ever seen in my life. Once again, she made me feel more than worthless as Dad insisted I was.
Nanny worked diligently cleaning and cooking in our home. As she worked, I held tightly onto her apron.  We shared delicious hard candies that she carried in her apron!  I followed her from room to room as she was the most magnificent angel in my eyes and I’m certain the world knew this too.
Nanny found some old peaches and made us a wonderful pie and turned our scraps into tasty meals.  She unequivocally tried to give our house some semblance of normalcy.  
When father came home, Nanny knew exactly how to talk to him asking how his day was and complimenting his failed attempts at cooking. She always looked directly into father’s eyes seemingly letting him know she wouldn’t allow his cruel maltreatment on her watch.
When Nanny went to Heaven, it was clear I would no longer have her loving care and protection, only a distant memory of her incredible and unending kindness.
Today, I implore my beloved Nanny to ask Jesus to watch over my soft-hearted innocent child, Daniel keeping him safe from all psychological and physical harm; for certain he is the only blessing in this life. 
My heart continues to be profoundly grateful and honored for the gentleness from a most cherished Nanny that anyone could imagine.  I’ll never forget the hope and reprieve that she instilled into a helpless child with a broken spirit.
To my dearest beloved Nanny, I send my deepest, reverent and immeasurable love to you. Your pure heart gave me more love than I could ever ask for. I pray that I’ll meet you once again in Heaven.  For Nanny, you were a divine gift from GOD, forever engraved in my heart, soul and mind!
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