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The news out Armageddon is upon us and it’s time for all of us to go 
The world's armies have all gathered and they are putting on a show

Heaven is calling and everyone wants to know just where they stand 
Before packing up their worthy goods and off to that Promised Land

After centuries of rejection want to show their claims of being a Jew
Even a whole bunch of Aborigines, who just nobody, even had a clue

Took just about every given bit of transport, they found, to get there 
Even the Muslims rushed so much; they did not even stop for prayer

Palestine was the hot spot whilst looking for some bloke called Jesus 
Found some dude called Moses, we thought he will do, as the geezer

Every ladder, found propped up was then looked upon in special awe
But, God was just having a moment "cause he knew the flamin’ score

God had divided us over across the world, north, south, east, as west 
Each and every one of us was exiled out, as then sent on a holy quest

Now each and every one of us back again here at his holiness request
As lined up to see which one of us, was now gonna be flamin' blessed

The Jew boy’s butts were flapping as they just would not give it a rest
First in line as Gods chosen children, they forever continued to stress

The rest of us, just stood about with D.N.A forms and monies in hand 
Whilst an angel stood at each rung of the Jacobs ladder theirs to man

Inspecting each as every one of us to see if we would make the grade 
Bribery of course, was acceptable if enough to each angel can be paid 

Compassion was even allowed here, as we all stopped for a cup of tea 
There the angels could offload their booty and have themselves a pee

Rungs unmanned, a few got in; that should not have been there at all 
As Saddam Hussein’s son Uday got in with a phew that was a tight call

The blind, as lame on the side lines thought they didn’t have a chance 
But the angels just stopped the rest of us all, and let them all advance

It took twelve days in all, for the Gawd maddening crowd to die down
Until all that was left was a boy called Sue and that Clooney the clown

Jacob’s ladder, was then carefully hoisted up, was never as again seen
No one left except the charlady; who was still cleaning up the canteen

O’, and that other guy who started all this, goes by the name of Jacob 
He left not long after we arrived, to have a few rashers of illicit bacon

So if there was ever a earth in heaven we were about to have our day 
It was so crammed packed up there, even Jesus, had nowhere to stay

The queue, at immigration was as worse as if we’d been back at home
The ledgers were so overworked at the mouth they so started to foam

The Jew boys were all busy, and had already set up their vendor stalls
The rest of us, were just stuck in no man's land, with not a soul to call

Just as on earth when the dosh ran out, we were then shown the door 
Gawd, I really would not have bothered if I had really known the score 

But hey, the freefall back down to earth, was nothing short of amazing 
Time I got home every bone in my broken body was well & truly aching

Armageddon wasn’t so bad, given it was only Israel that got blew apart
I am now as off shopping down at the now unmanned local super mart
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