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When we were kids we used to like to tease Don’t touch me because you are a disease That would always get a few chuckles Until the victim said let me touch you with my knuckles Don’t touch me now, fool, I just got a shower, can’t you see Besides, if you touch me, I’m gonna smell like cat pee If that’s the way you want it, if that’s what you insist Then please before you go, let me touch you with my fist. We were playing baseball and I was heading for home plate Underneath the tag, my sliding was first rate Safe, safe, safe I yelled to the catcher, please don’t cry Before you go to the dugout, let me touch you in the eye You can’t even touch me, it really makes no sense You can’t come in my yard, I’m safe behind the fence So why not go home and cry some more, you really are all talk I can’t touch you with my hands, so let me touch you with this rock Where’d you get that face, Are your mom and dad to blame I can’t tell it from your backside, they both look the same I’m going to play baseball, I’ve got my glove and hat But before we start the game, let me touch you with the bat. Kids can be so much fun whether it’s sunny or it’s raining They aren’t little devils, they’re just little angels in training They might make you laugh, or make your teardrops start No matter what they do, they always touch your heart.
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