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My auntie’s best friend Liselotte
Adores making sweet panna cotta
Auntie’s over the moon
Grabs an enormous spoon
Then greedily gobbles the lotta!

By piling sweet treats on her plate
Poor auntie starts putting on weight
She steps on the scales
Then curses and wails
Must diet before it's too late

Written by Jan Allison

Jan's Auntie has become quite a glutton
Feasting on panna cotta and mutton
Now her butt crack's exposed
I'm keeping my eyes closed
Zipper's broken, and she popped a button

She devoured the custard and the Chablis
She's drunk and ready to go Full Monty
Not trying to be rude
But her plump rump, nude
Would bring about nightmares to haunt me

Written by Lin Lane

1/10/20

Jan's huge auntie had a weakness for cheese
When offered seconds always said" yes please"
She was known as' big Nelly'
Because of her fat belly
And her large boobies hung down to her knees...

She went off with her friends to sunny Spain
But would have needed three seats on the plane
Although it was freezing cold
Nelly opted for the hold
On landing they had to use a large crane...

Written by Tom Cunningham

Jan's too full Auntie crashes on the bed
complaining her guts hurt from too much bread
she lands with a loud pop
expelling gas nonstop
and yelling that was a relief, she said

Jan's Uncle is so tired he wants to sleep
He enters the bedroom, the stench is deep
Auntie is passed out
snoring like a trout
He runs back onto the couch with a leap

Written by Tania Kitchin

She went straight back to see Liselotte
and ate MORE of that thick panacotta!
But she’s full of regret
for right now she’s beset
by a quiver that’s making her totter.

The doctor explained. “If you gobble
too much of that stuff, then you’re nobbled!
You can run, you can sweat
off the calories - yet
you will NEVER get rid of the wobble!”

WRITTEN BY NINA PARMENTER
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