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I went fishing with my brother Ron, and a bloke named Tommy Grace. We had camped along the Tarago where we could fish on Harvey's place. Ron brought along his rabbit traps; he don't like fishing much you see, and kept 'yapping' all the time about a flamin' rabbit recipe. "Rabbit stewed in port" Ron sighed. "That's what I'm 'gunna' cook". He kept reciting the ingredients he read in some cooking book. Tom and I were driven mad. We said ‘We’re heading off to fish’. When we came back a rabbit skun was laying ready on a dish. Ron had a table folded out and there's a chopping board in place. He wore an apron monogrammed with his gruesome ugly face. Ron had onions, carrots diced; plus some mushrooms he had bought with the salt and pepper handy and of course the needed port. Ron cut the rabbit into quarters; placing it back in the dish, then poured in the port to marinate (I dreamt of a grilling fish) I said to myself 'Well I ‘dunno’, I think his rabbit will be bland. I'll send Tom with Ron to check his traps then give the stew a hand.' "Where's ‘yer’ traps set?" Tommy asked. Ron mentioned "Round about". "Well I'll take my fishing rod with me while you check the ‘beggers’ out". "Okay" said Ron "But first of all I'll put the rabbit on to stew". He threw in the diced up veggies plus a cup of water too. Before they left Ron 'up'd' the lid to check upon the bubbling brew. He took a sniff and said "Look after it!" I answered "That I’ll do". Soon as the pair are out of sight, I diced garlic and a chili too with a measure of hot curry - I threw the lot into the stew … … Ron's alone walking back; I see he’d trapped another pair. Tom was spinning up the river so I said I'll walk up there. Ron whispered “Don’t tell Tom, but the stew needs spicing up a bit". So he diced garlic, sliced two chilies; and threw hot curry powder in it. When we walked back we had three trout to show to brother Ron, but he's slunk down in a folding chair and soundly snoring on. "Oh well" I say's "Tom watch the pot, you better stay 'round here. I'll go to the creek and clean the fish then come back and have a beer". I placed the fish inside the esky then pulled out an ice cold beer. Tommy walked across to me and whispered quietly in my ear "Ronnys’ cooking's bloody tasteless, so I'll tell you what I did, I diced garlic, sliced three chilies, and put hot curry powder in it” … … Ron woke up and stretched his arms; sauntered over to the stew. I’m thinking he'll see all the chili so I wondered what he'd do. He just stirred the pot, put down the lid, "She's nearly done" he said. Then placed three plates upon the table and buttered up some bread. … By gosh that stew was hot! I could feel the sweat bead on my brow. My eyes soon filled with water and Tommy’s shouting “Wow!” Ron asked “Did you blokes put in chili?” - Yes the three of us got caught. So we chucked the bloody lot away and got 'sozzled' on the port.
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