Email Poem

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Personal Note:
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Poem
To the girl I hope to be in 234 days:

I’m sorry it took me so long
to realize how badly I needed to be you.
I’m sorry our future
was the furthest thing from my mind
and that I spent so much time worried
about everything but you.

I know I should’ve held onto those perfect moments
where I almost became you
and I’m sorry I didn’t.

I’m sorry I spent your high school years
anxious and depressed
when there are so many beautiful things
about this life.
I hope you know how much
I wish I had danced
when you wanted me to
and maybe how much
I wish I loved life the way you do.

Sometimes I think you scared me.
Becoming you meant being happy
and being happy
meant losing the biggest part of me.
My negativity kept me from loving you
the way I always should have.
And I’m sorry I didn’t learn to love you
until it was almost too late.

I hope someday you wave back at me
with a smile
and never find yourself sitting beside me
because you truly love
the life you’ve been given.
I hope by now you realize
that it’s ok to let people go
but that you can always count on those who love you
to be there when you call.
I hope you’re never afraid to have a bad day
but you don’t let it ruin
the rest of your week
the way I do.

I’m sorry I spent so much time sad
and hating everything about myself
instead of embracing
every incredible aspect
of my personality.
I wish I had learned to accept my imperfections
as beautiful
instead of trying to hide them away
which is why I hope you look in the mirror
every morning
and know that you are perfect.

I hope you’ve finally found your voice
and that you aren’t afraid to use it.
I hope you know
just how important it is for you
to speak up
especially when you think you shouldn’t.

I hope you understand
that being in a relationship
doesn’t mean you don’t have fights;
just that you love each other enough
to work through them
and keep going.
I hope you know that
you deserve to be heard in your relationship
just as much as he does.

I’m sorry I spent so much time thinking
that losing people
meant you weren’t good enough.
Because you are beyond good enough
in every possible way.
And I’m sorry it took me so long
to understand that.

I’m sorry I was afraid of you.
I’m sorry I didn’t embrace you sooner.
But I’m trying to now.
And I know I don’t say it nearly enough
but I really do love you.

Love, me
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