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Heartbreak & love 

When you think about heartbreak you think of pain & sadness? That's all i know now days. I sit back and think is it me? Is it the one flaw I have to love to deeply or to love to much. Or is it my need to love someone so much I lose myself in return.

That tight pain in your chest with a combo of not stop tears. Who would ever thought that a heartbreak would be so physically painful. We all been through it haven't we? 

After heartbreak comes anger, I'm angry because I let myself fall for you I caused this heartbreak I let you in. I let you have my whole heart not knowing you wouldn't handle it with care not knowing you would be so reckless with it , I did that ? 

Now comes the self blame why did I allow my self to believe I was ever worth love , that I was ever going to have someone finally love me like I love , why? What was it about me that people choose to not love me like I feel I deserved to be loved .


Now comes coldhearted, my heart decides not to love again, it decides not to open its warm , safe door which is now covered with ice and barbed wire. My heart doesn't like it here but its safer this way . When will my heart ever be able to return to it's natural warm loving state? My mind tells me soon , but my heart she shouts never , never again , .... and all because of a heartbreak my heart will remain cold and protected from the evils we call 
                             LOVE.

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