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Laying down on the hospital bed...
Helplessly feeling so much dread...
I hopelessly dream away the sorrow,
Wishing there was another tomorrow

I'm sorry that I've let you down, Father
I apologize for the things that I've done
I'm sorry for breaking apart like no other
I sympathize with the grave and the dawn

I will rise up like the sun that shines down on me
I will make it through these tsunamis of shame
I will make it through these waves of emotion possibly
I am going to make it out alive, love, though I won't be the same

Laying down on this hospital bed...
Feeling words that are left unsaid...
I wish away the anguish inside me again
Bring me to the hills of the Lord, for I don't know where I've been

I'm sorry that I'm stupid enough to be in the same situation...
I'm sorry that I've lost touch of positive, childlike anticipation
I'm apologetic about everything that I've been putting you through lately
Your touch is angelic against my own and I say this truthfully...honestly...

I ended up back in the hospital for the foolish things I've done 
My wars are not gone from my head and they are left unwon
Please forgive me, Lord above...if you can right now, for I am brought low from my awful bipolar-manic high and hear my cry
I'll be set free in a minute; just give me something to rely on and to depend on like faith from on high, for I'm feeling nigh

Someone help me out 
I'm full of empty doubt
Hopefully, you'll hear my prayer
I've been sinful and a betrayer

I'm sorry I tend to let You down
I've tread life's frowned-upon town
I'm as hollow as a drum inside... Deep inside...
I am getting swallowed up by tribulation's tide

Someone help me out 
I'm walking a difficult route
Yet, I lay here...
With some fear...

Anxiety weighs me down once more
Depression hits me to its harsh core
I love You and I love you, father of mine
I want you both to know that I'll be fine

As long as I keep my head up high...
As long as I keep my head up high...
Nothing can bring me low to the ground
What's been lost can be ultimately found

Eventually, I'll keep my head up high
If only you'd understand the reason why
I don't want to die, but live peaceably with all
I don't want to cry in lament, but gladly stand tall without making a great fall through it all 

Keeping my head up high and I'm on the right track
Keeping my head up high and success got my back
Keeping my head up high above my hospital bed 
Keeping my head up high above waters of dread
 
- September 7, 2019
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