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Me cars down at the doctors ‘cause there’s trouble with the coil,
and somewhere I’m losing water so once or twice I’ve had it boil.
It needs another set of spark plugs and me mufflers had the pip,
so Dave me mate who’s the mechanic said, “Take it to the tip”.

But Dave has got to understand that I am not a millionaire,
and even though me car’s got problems that he has to be aware,
I have to keep it running ‘cause I’m pretty close to broke, 
so I don’t care if it is missing and blowing heaps of smoke.

Of course I’m not the only customer that Dave has in his shed.
He’s changing oil, repairing tyres, and mending a cracked head. 
But when a young girl namely Keli made an entrance at the door,
Dave dropped the subject of me car to ask what she’s here for.

The problem Keli posed is making Dave somewhat confused,
and I’ve got say just listening left me more than quite amused,
for Keli mentioned that her little car, seems to be running well,
but there are times that permeate a rotten rancid smell.

Keli said the problem doesn’t happen when driving on her own,
but with her friends it surfaced swiftly, so Dave is quickly thrown.
He checked the engine and the gearbox; wheel bearings and the ‘diff’,
then stuck his nose in every cranny and inhaled a forceful whiff.

Dave admitted he is stumped for there’s no smell that’s out of place,
so once again he spoke to Keli ‘bout her theory in this case,
and Keli’s adamant the rotten odour never rises when alone,
but when friends are traveling with her then this odour is full-blown.

Dave looked around his workshop at the cars that are in need,
and then he faced me with a grin and made a subtle little plead,
“Mate, I’ll fix your car” he gave a wink “Even though I am flat out,
if you go with Keli for a spin to find the smell she’s on about”. 

Dave’s offer is my saving grace; I think he’s dodging Keli’s myth, 
but I jumped into her little car that Keli’s got her troubles with,
and as she sped up through the gears I got this slight sensation,
that somehow I’ve got myself into a ticklish situation.

For Keli’s doing near a hundred, the wrong way down a one-way street!
And she’s mounting curbs, fish tailing, throwing me out of me seat.
She sideswiped a truck and cop car for the gap was over-tight,
then near cleaned up six pedestrians when running a red light.  

And how Keli missed the train upon the crossings got me beat.
Right now I’m shaking like a leaf and whiter than a sheet,
then Keli shouted “Can you smell it? That stench has really hit”.
I screamed “Can I smell it Keli? I’m bloody sitting in it!”
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