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Every night I relive that day

I relive the dream over again

No, not a dream, a nightmare

Except it's neither, it's reality

December nineteenth 2016

The world lost a great woman

A mother of six young children

And a wife to a man, now lost

It was unexpected to say the least

No one was prepared for this

Not her friends, or her husband

And definitely not me

Beginning Stage One: Denial

At first I slept easy, I was okay

Simply because she would be there

In the morning, I'd wake up

And see her sitting in her place

She wasn't, she must be at the store

I'd go to school run through daily life

Then come home thinking she'd be there

Then I'd find the house empty and bare

Stage Two: Anger

Who could be ready for this feat?

To lose a mother, so young

To lose their best friend too quick

To lose their one place called home

I was not, I am not ready for this

How could she leave so quickly?

How dare she not be here for me?

Why would you be so selfish?

Stage Three: Bargaining

If only we made her go seek help,

When we first saw the signs

If only we got her there sooner

Maybe, she wouldn't have died

Stage Four: Depression

When will this horrible pain end?

Will I be stuck hurting forever?

It's so tiring to cry all day long

I don't think I ever be okay again

At this point the pain can win

I miss her so much it hurts

I don't have her to go to anymore

But I can't do this alone anymore

Stage Five: Acceptance

It's been a exactly a month now

And I still miss you, I always will

But, It's getting easier, and easier

I am learning to keep living on

My friends are are holding me up

They won't let me fall down again 

I did it, I found some to keep around

Just like you always wanted for me

I did it for you, and maybe a bit for me

I will continue to make you proud

Because you are everything to me

Don't forget, I love you, forever and a day
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