Email Poem

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Poem

Love your family they say
Appreciate those who were there for you
You should love your family no matter what
But what if someone from your family is so toxic you feel like your chest is expanding, swelling, and it’s on the way to burst?
What if this person was somebody who you looked up to for so many years?
And now they are someone who makes you  question your own value?
What if this person has made you cry at night?
They made you wonder if your existence was meant to be in the first place?
You’re pretty but dumb and naive 
You’re pretty but you’re no good
You’re pretty but you’re just such a mess
You’re pretty but you’re just, you’re just not enough 
You can keep trying 
You can try doing things my way 
But they will never be right 
Because you will never be enough for me
No one ever will be 
At least not in my book
This woman was someone who I looked up to be 
She changed my diapers, taught me how to speak
She taught me manners ironically
While lowering my own self esteem 
You have everything I don’t like about myself 
What pity isn’t it?
She asks me
I smile and say it’s okay 
Because that’s all I have ever have left to say now 
Because family can become toxic 
Family can turn on you in a flash
But you have to smile 
Because after all they are just you’re family 
And they’re just trying to help

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