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Once upon a time in the lands from the north, south, east to west Navigating on the cold white sands formed of sugar and ice Crest be blessed with gold, and silver, the sunset and the conquest Exhibition, take the express to the crow’s nest for a price A Shiver me timbers, iron and rattlesnakes And not anyone’s fault, it’s that the earth shakes A bridge to nowhere, a blue ridge, all this mileage A reservoir fountain with the big horn mines A circle near the right mountain, with all the big pines A point on inspiration, it is time for a vacation Ahoy me hearties! booty and adventure be awaiting Avast ye, either be invigorating or humiliating Blimey! When me go on account, the first voyage must have had the black spot Lookout! Snowflakes, the many aches, no breaks all caught up in a knot Sink me, this scuttle almost feed the fish by dancing with Rumpelstiltskin Thar she blows! The woes, these foes, the ninja squirrels with a rotating shuriken Did a spin, hit me toe, flow like an arrow sparrow superman into the sand Lost the wind, glitter, shadow, entered the world of wonderland Here’s a story. Went down switch, heard a high pitch, then collided with an oread Now this man-o-war of a husband showed up with his javelins Desirin' me an ironclad for this old salt looked seriously mad He might as well had been the ole British armada with all those cannons Me apologies governor n beauty and I bead thee Farwell Wishin' nah to dance the hempen jig, I paddled out of thar like hell Marooned, where was I? Lost me ship o’ thought Me report, an elfin dry seaport. Shipshape, I almost forgot So, ergo, take action cap’n, anchor the ships in the dark oceans Now ye be abandoning them, they be of no use in these canyons Oh, ready yourselves for the thriller, let this journey begin Winner of champions, lads and lassies, lift those chins and grin Put on a board or two keep yourself afloat Insert a stick or two to row your boat Really, in these white sands, few mates’ skins will shiver Assured the best advice is to get out of the river Take note ye could use yer hands for oars Eye, for the cold I’m told use a coat or go indoors But the landlubbers’ parley and do nah take a chance With the comfort of old Cap Morgan and they stay afar Show a leg if ye come about, buccaneer. Take a stance Host the Jolly Roger and steer the bull wheel off the sandbar Thar a treasure map jeers at all travelers and mountaineers Wit’ bein’ dragons and gunslingers and Calamity Janes Myths and legends the maddening Blackbeard’s terrains Fire in the hole and gather ye wits, give no quarter to ye fears Heave ho ye sea legs and strap in thee gear Handsomely stampede into the locker of Davy Jones Be the one who owns, an Olympian in these zones Or just safely relax in a rubber tube by a Christmas tree waiting for reindeer
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