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IF EVER I HAD A COUNTRY : LXXV IF ever I had a country with flaming flags flying on every lamp-post weather-cock and tree And if ever I were by my highest degree qualification appointed the Director-General of Museums Zoos Botanico-Ornithological Gardens Parks and Cemetries I would make it a point of the Most Urgent Order that every bird gaily chirping warbling shrieking or even grumbling in its own particular brand of cursing for free Either lone or in chorus or in competition with its own kind or in contempt of other feathered outlandish melodies Together with every howling hound bellowing beast croaking crocodile cursing cat or mocking monkey That they be taught and made to learn by rote under pain of plunder and pillage of their property to belt out the National anthem every dawn and at the crowing down of the Sun in its reverie Or else be banished tarred and feathered forthwith from My Dearly-Beloved Country after forfeiting their tongues never to sing again and this after coughing up an astronomical fine of a fee for the capital crime of Lèse Majesté That is, if ever I were appointed the Most Distinguished Protector of the Patrimony as the Director-General of Museums Zoos Botanico-Ornithological Gardens Parks and Cemetries Even if I never ever had no country where no birds trill tongues or beasts bellow bestialities and mockeries © T. Wignesan - Paris, March 26, 2019
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