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Mine Mean Mien, Hence Deserved Cross To Bare

Upon reflection of fatherhood,
onset of hands-on schooling 
fraught with narcissism
a role I lept in unaware 
with slim success
unknowingly portending how fatuous

frolics spelled ultimate doom
with theoretical strings attached,
when snagged, sans marry in net
utmost misery ties me psyche in knots
unable to quiet refrain
lamentably accepting harsh critique

eldest of deux female offspring,
when just a girl blurted
her poor estimation of this papa,
she claimed tubby 
ultimate true arbiter,
I feel forced,

no matter agonizingly pained
to review nebulous parade of events
brusque, defensive, harsh...,
especially when whittling precious time
see king in tryst ting extramarital dalliance
"FAKE" Cassanova for erotic liaison

upon unexpectedly espying eldest daughter
peering over either shoulder
minimized computer desktop windows
snappishly answering "NOTHING"
after "star student"
knew online shenanigans,

asper said responding and posting
before Craigslist personals option
axed - duet to solo sexual
predatory malicious jackknifed
gory deadly deeds done dirt cheap,
this dada sought, and experienced 

intimate physical succor,
never experienced till early adulthood
emotional estrangement fallout
impacted firstborn, who understandably
smoldered with red hot poker rage

evidenced, viz her little feet
stomping away, perhaps...
an outburst, viz violent tsunami
slammed doors, perhaps
accompanied by wounded
sobbing, while obliviousness

found yours truly
resuming prospective sought infidelity
(despite underhanded, undeserved,
undetected...slam against spouse)
after infuriating disruption
unwittingly demolishing scaffolding

short lived precious bond
prior to Eden transitioning
into young womanhood
crumbling any vestige,
where countless outings
at local playgrounds,

(within Narberth, Pennsylvania)
became leering mockery
as tawdry adulterous infractions,
though many hours keying online
rarely bore tangible results,
nonetheless...repeated instances

of my selfish prurient pursuits
(remembrance of things past
never forgotten by said progeny)
definitely begat big chill
hounding haunting spectres
pronounce eternal damnation

irretrievably renting asunder
fractured winking happy days
relegated to dustbin
blunting shattered dynamic link,
when both this papa
and his progeny
seemed so blissfully innocent!
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