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Poem
I could tell Nan’s getting bored with her knitting and crochet,  
and her interest has been waning with the C-W-A.
To think the help I offered had become a huge regret -
I introduced my Nan to games played on the Internet. 

On Sunday arvo’s we would visit Nan for scones and tea,
but later on she’s telling us to go to buggery. 
Her doors are always locked and she’s thrown away the key,
so when peeping through a window, this is what I see.

CHORUS:
Bouncing numbers; flashing lights and Nan is on a roll,
as her fingers tap the keyboard - she’s completely lost control.
She argues with her laptop when she’s lost another round -
and God help all our family if the Internet goes down.

Nan’s made some subtle changes in the cottage that is hers.
Within reach of her laptop is now where her life occurs.
There’s a coffee urn beside her - ‘no-doze’ keeping her awake.
She curses Mother Nature when she needs a toilet break.

There’s debt collectors chasing Nan, but they too draw a blank,
even though she has got close to a million in the bank,
‘cause Nan won’t leave her laptop; she too afraid to lose.
I wish to God she’d get a virus or at least take up the booze.

CHORUS:
Bouncing numbers; flashing lights and Nan is on a roll,
as her fingers tap the keyboard - she’s completely lost control.
She argues with her laptop when she’s lost another round -
and God help all our family if the Internet goes down.

It took some time to cure Nan with intense therapy.
There’s no more computer games; it’s a family victory,
but Nan still locked her doors, and had her curtains drawn -
and peeping through a curtain STRUTH!  - NAN’S ADDICTION TURNED TO PORN.

BRIDGE:
I’ve had a talk to Nan over MY hot scones and tea.
I think computer games are best - and Nan did agree.

CHORUS:
Bouncing numbers; flashing lights and Nan is on a roll,
as her fingers tap the keyboard - she’s completely lost control.
She argues with her laptop when she’s lost another round -
and God help all our family if the Internet goes down.
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