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Girly Time

Women do wear watches
why can’t they tell the time
Them watches should be bigger
with a megatronic chime
Ladies think appointments 
are a little like a date
They keep their doctor keen
by being twenty minutes late

My wife booked up the dentist
an appointment made for ten
She grabbed her coat and left the house
a minute before then
The trouble is it’s quite a drive
half hour door to door
And then we face the car park
and so she’s late once more

Although she wears a watch
the battery ran out yesterday
She asked me if I’d fix it
and then went on to say
‘I can’t believe the battery’s flat
I nearly had a fit,
although I’ve had this watch for years
I rarely look at it,’

I give her constant time checks
every five minutes or ten
I wonder if it’s likely
that they’d wanna sell Big Ben
She says, ‘I’m not a child
stop telling me the time
and please don’t tell whole damned world
about me in a rhyme’

Of course, once we get on our way
then nothing is her fault
She’s bellows at the car in front
a geriatric sort
We’ll be late she says
because that geezer’s driving slow
He should appreciate that some folk
have some place to go

Well I just drive and bite my lip
I think that’s always best
She can’t drive cos she turned up
too late for her test
I even pointed out back then
she should respect the time
She used two fingers to tell me
to ‘just get lost’... 
in mime

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