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18-12-1922. 22-12-2018 A date of birth. A date of rebirth A male child. A female child Tenth in line. Third then first Dead. or. Alive. There was no reconciliation then- No way I wanted to speak to you It seemed right and safe then to war with my genesis- Son begat son, Yet I was a daughter. To you an entity misplaced in being a beginning The origin of your descent into a hopeless future. The twin boys had died- Not your fault, not mine- leaving to me their inheritance- You. My Progenitor. A male. A father. A lost boy to a father lost. December life and death. You were born and died in this month Four years on Your ashes and thigh bones, bits and pieces of you. My ancestral flesh and bone, flung floating over Draken's spine. The range you sought to roam was never an escape... You took me up the chain ladder strapped to my mother's back with a blanket I was six weeks old. I felt nothing then, your mountains in my blood. Born to climb behind you, your mind in my memories. I chased your reticence, back- broken history. Wild child to your wild Man. Ten years on. I broke through your dark clouds. Cloaked in ambiguity, Hate was angry love in denial- A need to appeal frustrated Appeasement aborted. Case closed. Thrown out of court- We were both imprisoned in Broken. Dead and Very Much Alive. Lost hope of acceptance. Accepted. A daughter thrown forward, incompatible with your resolve to quarrel with your quarrelsome past. Today is a day of reckoning with your quota. Those lost in time wars of yours. You couldn't make it across the line "compos mentis." And I was only angry not being able to get close to you- the father and first man of my life So I warred with you instead. Desperate to not become you. Broken like you. Broken like your father. And his father before him. Broken begat Broken. That's how I got here. I've reconciled myself with that. "Mens Sana in Corpore Sano." YOU said it. 22-12-2018. Note: Breaking the cycle of inherited Brokenness is a personal choice. It's worth it when your sons tell you just so. "Compos mentis"= Sound/ whole in mind. "Mens Sana in Corpore Sano"= Healthy/sound in mind , Healthy/ sound in Body. (Two of my father's favourite sayings.)
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