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I have prayed,and prayed hard, for the deaths of 2 people. Lest you think me a criminal, an explanation: one was my mother-in-law, a frail 89 yr. old who had a bad fall. Her organs were already failing after almost 10 years on dialysis and we knew her end was near. Still, the doctors pushed for a painful treatment instead of letting her pass her final days at home. I see this as a major problem with our secular society: seeing death as TABOO! So many fear it because so many see it as extinction. When society saw death more as a door than a wall, death itself may have often been gentler, taking people as they lie in, yes, their deathbeds, surrounded by loved ones. Famous paintings were even done of such scenes, and yes, while terribly sad, there was also a sense of peace and acceptance amid the swelling of love.

Having gone thru a double-hip operation myself I knew the sort of intense pain my wife's mom would endure,and for what, a few weeks more of life, maybe given her state, a few days? So I prayed that God would have mercy and take her before she suffered even more. I did it for her, for my wife, and for myself: I hate seeing anyone I care for in anguish--and I suppose that is selfish. As it happened, I had picked up her son from the airport on a Friday and when she saw him, shadow of a life though she had already become, her face shone with what light it could (for life makes light, as light makes life): she was happy, so we all were happy. The next morning as she was undergoing dialysis, her blood pressure dropped. Even though there was a DNR, the doc pressured my wife to let him try (a theme for another essay). My wife was torn but then her mom quietly passed-- 2 days before she would have been subjected to that painful and probably useless treatment. When my wife called me, I thanked God for His mercy--and His timing.

Recently a neighbor and friend passed: a 93 year old woman whose wit was endless and her ability to make puns was charming. She was also a member of our church in town where she had married 65 years ago. She had dementia for the past couple years: first she lost her skill at making puns (a rare skill indeed) then she lost her ability to talk. I have read about how bad it can get so I prayed, no so much for her death as that she be spared the worst of it, that she not suffer unduly. Again, I think God was merciful. Her caretaker told us the night before she had pulled the blanket over her husband, so her 'loving' was still there.
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