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Fire's Out

Walking through the woods one day
I met a dragon in dismay
I didn't know that they could talk
So thought I'd carry on my walk

But as I passed I heard a hiss
A voice that said I'll tell you this
You must be mean to pass on by
And pay no heed as tears I cry

   I'm sorry if I raised your ire
   I feared you might set me afire
   I've read about you dragons, see
   And things that you could do to me

I don't know what you're scared about
There's no one fearful hereabout
You see the fire in me's gone out
So no flames issue from my snout
I'm like a cat that cannot scratch
A pirate who has lost his patch
A vicious dog who has no teeth
A great white scared to leave the reef
So now I face redundancy
I'm simply a discrepancy
Folk once trembled at my smoke
Now look at me, I'm just a joke

   But still you have impressive jaws
   And wings to fly and wicked claws
   And dark green eyes that it is said
   when you're angry glow quite red

A whale without a water spout?
A cheetah with a touch of gout?
I'm like a hawk who cannot see
Why would you be scared of me

   But why scare anyone at all
   You could be proud and standing tall
   For you and we could all be friends
   On mutual trust it all depends

I guess that means that when I meet you
I'm not allowed to cook then eat you
Well not much fear of that about
Now my fire has gone out.

   So tell me where your fire dwelled
   Before it's wicked flames were quelled
   Could we make it reignite
   If you swear to spare us fright

My fire was deep inside of me
Down in my gut so can't you see
That for your little plan to hatch
You'll need some petrol... And a match.

   I said you know I have a hunch
   That maybe you should eat my lunch
   I think my food might suit a dragon
   With nothing bland for you to gag on
   My mum works in a takeaway
   I've got leftover food today
   So if you'd like to share a dish
   Just promise me the peace I wish

So lunch went down the dragon's neck
He swallowed and he said... Oh heck
Then smoke hissed out of either ear
And flames shot from his snout and rear

A bomb's gone off inside my guts
If you ate that you must be nuts
But even though I now feel sick
It does seem that it did the trick

   Although we just had lunch together
   Ate the same, well, no we never
   I had a nan and sag aloo
   And I gave you the vindaloo

And from that day the land was shared
By man and dragon, neither scared
So who'd have thought that peace would come
From a fire belching dragon's bum
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