Email Poem

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Poem

Sometimes the thoughts I’m processing
Have me stressing
Like why do I do this
There’s no point in this writing
I should just stick to fighting 
And go back to acting so clueless
I should just take a breath 
And start beating my chest
Until it turns black and then bluish
There no reason or rhyme
I’m losing my mind
I don’t think that I can get through this
I’m tossing and turning
Getting sick in my sleep
The skeletons in my closet 
Are starting to creep
The secrets I keep are way too deep
Out of the back of my mind 
the inkwells deep 
I screaming in silence 
But there’s no one to hear
I’m drowning in sorrow
And I’m lost in my fear
Who the hell are these people 
And how the hell are they here
I’m so confused 
I’m not even aware of the year
They tell me I’m ok
What the hell do they know
They don’t understand 
They can’t know what I know
They don’t relate to the feelings I show
I just want to let loose
And freaking explode
I’m gonna Raise the roof
And kickstart  a riot
in a library yelling
When all the signs are saying quiet
Try it
The voices keep telling me 
Inside of my head
It must be subliminal 
Because you can’t hear what they said
They tell me that 
I’m better off dead
And if I stay alive
I should paint the town red 
I’m the big bad wolf
And I’m coming to town 
Forget huffing and puffing,
I’m burning it down
How the hell do I say no
How the hell should I cope 
I’m not ticklish 
I’m not laughing
This is clearly no joke 
These meds that I’m taking
Maybe I should take more
Find me Overdose foaming
Collapsed on the floor
I’m my own worst enemy 
In my mind there’s a war 
And I’m just not listening 
Or fighting myself anymore..

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