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The  Rules of Football 

I took my little boy 
to a nearby football pitch 
He said he was tired 
of playing hide and seek 
He now wanted a football 
to play around and kick 

As he clutched my hand 
I spoke to him 
and tried to make him understand 
the eleven rules of football 
taking into consideration 
that he was quite small 

Now rule number one 
Football is made of eleven strong men 
When one or two are naughty 
you may still get away 
with playing nine or ten 

Rule number two 
When a member of your crew 
hits the ball into the net 
A goal is scored 
that I can place a bet 
For I am very sure 

Rule number three 
The maximum number of players 
you can substitute is three 
It does not cost a dime 
It is totally free 

Rule number four 
There are rules you must comply with 
When a team commits an offense 
named a foul 
before the game can commence 
A small advantage has to be given 
to the otherside 

Rule number five 
A freekick 
is given after a foul 
Sometimes awarded after 
unnecessary dives 

Rule number six 
When you are shown a card that is yellow 
Its time for your temper to mellow 
or you will get the referee quite mad 
and he will dismiss you with a red card 

Rule number seven 
A penality is like heaven 
It is awarded 
when a player breaks the rule 
maybe by using his hand as a tool 
to play the ball inside the penalty box 
its time for him to go back to school 

Rule number eight 
A thrownin 
Is when the ball is kicked out of the field 
It's one of footballs favorite sins 

Rule number nine 
Offside is 
When you are the only one running 
alone to score a winning goal 
you must hesitate 
till you see a single soul 

Rule number ten 
A game lasts 
for ninety minutes 
You are beat 
When your team has less goals than the other 
That is when you must admit defeat 

Rule number eleven 
when your team is losing 
you have to sing something amusing 
saying 
All we want is a goal 
While we are dressed in coloured charcoal 

Now my little boy 
I said 
These are the eleven rules of football 
lets go and practise inside the sports hall
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