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We’re in a casual conversation on the point of shooting Ducks,
and how they’re not bad on the palate, as long as someone plucks
the flamin’ feathers off the birds, ‘cause by the time they’re bare,
we can’t be bothered cooking ‘em, so we leave the buggers there.    

And add to that another point that has rose in latter years,
the bloody greenies have stepped in, and other flamin’ queers,
who want to ban Duck shooting for they reckon that it’s cruel,
but what is wrong with blasting Ducks - I reckon that it’s cool.

You’ve got to have a certain skill to aim a gun up in the sky,
and drop a moving target that just happens to fly by.
I mean that’s a bloody mighty skill no greenie ever had,
but they’ve nearly stopped Duck shooting - and this is really sad! 

I said we’re in a casual conversation, and that conversation now,
has turned to prey that we can shoot, and you know somehow,
us hunters hate the confrontation, and so to try and keep the peace,    
we might slip over to King Island -  and shoot Cape Barren Geese.

There is four of us who made this bond, to go shooting on the isle.
Once the goslings find their wings we’ll bring ‘em down in style,
and we won’t have a greenie near for nigh on five hundred mile,
so we can blast the geese to buggery, and do it with a smile.

Now there is one problem that arose, and it’s one I can’t deny,
the only way to get there is; we either sail or we must fly. 
But just the sight of gentle waves can have me old gut churn,
so I guess we’ll have to go by plane, and that’s a big concern. 

I tell you once we left the tarmac and there’s distance in between,
old Mother earth and this here plane, I reckon I was turning green,
so I reached for the little bag that fitted neat below me chin,
and I’m well prepared for what I know will very soon begin.
  
Then the Captain through the speakers once the plane began to cruise,
welcomed us and then announced his latest weather news,
that will allow a humdrum flight and all should go quite well,    
then he told us all to just relax - then screamed out “BLOODY HELL!”

I couldn’t see the frightening terror but I knew it’s on my face.
I couldn’t speak, and I couldn’t scream, like others up in space.
We sat there shivering in silence and knowing that somehow,
that those who don’t believe in God have come believers now!

My past came flashing through me and the wont of not to die.
I’m cursing that I didn’t sail and chose the option in the sky.  
But what seemed like an hour was barely time enough to think.
The Captain apologized and mentioned - that he had spilt his drink.

He said, “I didn’t mean to scare you but, hot coffee landed in my lap,
and hot coffee on a place like that can leave one in a flap. 
You should see my trousers at the front” - To mention that is fine.    
But if I should see the front of his - he should feel the back of mine!
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