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Sometimes I want nothing more than to sit and watch you sleep. The sound of your steady breathing soothes my heart. Your tiny fist curled under your stubborn little chin. A reminder of your father whom you resemble so much. Sometimes you sigh and I wonder what you dream. A silky curl of hair lies caressing your pudgy cheek. Recipient of heavenly angel’s kisses before you came to me. A blessing and suprise you were given to me to protect. To love and raise up in the image of our true Father. A difficult task and I feel I’m not up to the challenge. But I try everyday and sometimes I succeed only to fail. But your fearless spirit and irascible smile they heal me. Lead me on to another day another chance to do it right. A soul sent down from above to mix with genomes and chromosomes. Spin out and form a wonder in my body nestled under my ribs. Cherish him the heart cries, teach him the brain declares. Save him the warrior inside commands and I am overwhelmed. Until a firm voice enters in and sets things to right. I will cherish him, I will teach him, I will save him He says. It is the voice of the One, the Alpha and the Omega, The I am. Your duty is to be his mother, his confidante, his shelter. You will provide him sustenance and love and be his guide. Show him the way, lead him to me for you are all my children. This is my son as well as yours I gave him to you to keep for me. One day I will call him back and you will be ready to let go. He is a part of my plan, my army, my missionaries and my design. I hear these words and they frighten me, he is MY son. But I hear the truth in them as well and am burdened with sadness. With dawning realization I discover that your smile, your laugh. They are glimpses of heaven and the master plan is clear to me. With guidance, support and love you will fulfill your destiny. I carried you inside me, nourished you and cared for you. Yet you do not belong solely to me. You have a higher goal. Perhaps you will dance or teach or fight against bitter odds. But whatever cause you undertake I will be with you there. Never alone for the bond can not be broken by earthly measures. And that no matter when or why I should show no hesitance. For I know that I will always be with you wherever you go. And for now while you are my sweet baby, you are mine.
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