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“FAKE” Dread Locked Dumpster Diver

Not by choice this average
     bonehead configured Earthlinked
     Bozo went kicking, and screaming
     into refuse bin
naturally (no questions asked,
     nor guffaws uttered) with chin
clamped tight, since the missus
     (by some rare, min

ness school, one in a
     bajillion chancy pin
in a haystack fluke
     of circumstance) sin
gull handed dropped,
     the entire set of keys (YES) vin
dick heave lee into
     the morbid, horrid
 
     and fetid weeks old
     garbage filled dumpster,
     this an absolute zero - no win
ning situation, roundly pitched
     against a cosmic malicious yin
hmm..., a hunch shot
     thru my mind, that she,
whose first name simply Abby

blithely, casually,
     and deliberately tossed
     the only set of keys free
lee (for sole access
     to our apartment, plus
     the singular way to start our car,
     a 2009 Hyundai Sonata

     as if that makes sum difference),
     and with her sinister glee
fully, excitedly, and coquettish lee,
plus maniacally, preternaturally,
     and snidely wanted me
to sink deep into the
     junk yard rabid dog gone,
     maggot and rat

     infested stinking pit pre
venting no more violent
     fisticuff altercations getting re
tally lit tory revenge e'er since
     (I readily, stoically, 
     and tacitly admit), 
     this blowhard good
     for nothing husband drunken deal

O meg odd, Sigma Epsilon 
     former frat boy,
     who weathered
     volleyed unspooled evil
epithet laced expletives  
both of us suffering fools dell 
lose hen null, asper 
      this match made in hell

yourr truly inflicting (measure 
     for measure) un intel
ledge gent till hurtful heaping 
     glomming pell mell
     more'n a death knell
feline times nine
     lifetimes of misery hard sell
tum ma crony's, a
 
     worthless corny soul 
     shucked aye tell
     each of our base grotesqueness 
     equally receiving our 
     deserved respective weltanschauung
headstrong shouldering keel well
ling kneecaps, and toes
oven angry papa

     no match for an absurd
albeit, one petsmart mama bird,
twittering cruelly, emasculating     
my manhood, curd
dill ling, and excoriating
     thine ego, gird
ding mine entire being
     with accursed damnation heard,

this side of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania,
     sans her blistering, unswerving,
     and weltering wicked wrathfulness,
     yawping fiendish zeal,
     she malevolently espoused
     with every scathing word.
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