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Mother died
the day you were born
With tears of joy 
in her eyes,
her last breath was womb torn
A forty year journey    ending prematurely

Your first breaths of life,
tiny infant cries,
were swaddled in innocence
Yet to experience the vast vale of guilt tears,
	which would come
hereafter, every year ...
Happy birthday sadness
	Blue wails, 
which would often plunge you
into a depression deep
Fathomless waves of a murky,
sad birth memory

Father wept trembling,
when he tightly held you tenderly in his bosom
Looking at his true and new love ...
one dead        one alive
	His soul was split asunder
That day, his spirit never wholly recovered;
and shortly thereafter, 
it died as well

And his buried sorrow
would revive,
from time to time,
when he caressed your joyous smile ...
Such youthful, unbridled happiness 
Thru you       seeing his beloved radiance     
in her dying, 
		last glowing moment again,
was always very heart-wrenching

I loved you, my dear sister,
the first time I beheld you
Tho’ your three-day-old home welcoming
was a sad happy occasion,
I rejoiced at how God’s grace
gave Mother the strength to carry you
	        into this world

Over these many years, 
I’ve patiently 
tried to understand the terrible pain 
       you’ve borne since birth
A burden of the heart, 
much too heavy for me to ever know

	       I cried often too,
on those bittersweet birthday celebrations — 
Joyous laughter     mixed with     solemn tears;
sad, wet grief of stolen maternal moments,
snatched    by your struggling    survival grasp
Gradually, I’ve come to realize the meaning
	    of being half-orphan
I now admire your ferocious womb tenacity

	So, as the anguished years 
have slowly worn down your umbilical resistance ... 
your longing desire
to be in Mother’s missed embrace
has forty-fold         increased mightily
Let this be your year of guilt release

As your brother, 
and sibling half-orphan sufferer,
I appeal to you, my beloved sister —  
to look thru Mother’s dying eyes, 
and gain precious   life-giving understanding

Her undying love for you, Bev     have deep roots,
everyday it grows and grows within you
Embrace this branching love, 
			which Mother’s tears of joy 
		showers upon you anew
	  Sacrificing herself,
so that you could breathe long for two: 
	  Your son and you — 
a begat double blessing

Mother's unwrapped womb choice 
is the rarest   most beautiful   birthday gift, 
these loving eyes ever knew
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