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Lock up your daughter's 

Parent type folk's 

Because here I come

I keep telling or trying to convince myself

I am 1 hell of a good looking bloke

Even without a single strand left on my head to stroke
Armed with a face my mother said was perfect for radio
And is as fat and round as a freshly picked potato 

I persist till I land my chosen suitors hand
With my wit and charm
And use my humor to disarm

What the hell is he doing with the likes of her
She must need glasses 
Or be hung like a horse
Or have a truck full of money

But if you really want to know 
My secret is
It is simply this

I was born with an unerring sense of Confidence 
And if you confident within yourself
Then inspite of wealth or promising girth
Or a good looking face or fit body

If you are inextricably funny and dont give a ship
Because you are confident within
Chances are you 2 could be the guy or girl
Stood at the bar not caring who is starring 

Because i have already pulled 
And dont have to pay for how ever many drink's 
That brings forth the Dutch courage or beer googles 
You need to breed the Confidence 

For anyone to go up and say to a boy or girl
This is your lucky day 
Whats your name
Ok I will let you buy me a drink
But dont think this means I am taking you home
But now that our eyes have met
And i like what you are saying
You can then tell your friends 
There is a better than average chance
You want be going home alone
And i will be adding your number into my flip phone
I normally like to take it slow
But I like the way
Your boobs and bottom compliment your lips
And the way that dress flows ever so slightly over your hips
I love the way your fingertips are running through your hair
I love the way your eyes are thinking
I wish closing time would come
So we can make love until the sun comes up
And with any luck I have met my 1 true soulmate
Or so the story goes
Or have I presumed to much
And is that your drink you have poured onto my crutch
Did I say to much 
Have I lost my midas touch
You see in reality confidence will only go so far
When you have been turned down
Over a 1000 times in Bar after Bar
But if you dont let it leave a scar
You live to fight another day
And just 1 day you will may even hear someone answer
Ok this is your lucky day 
You probably can't be any worse than the countless other's 
So let's go what the hell
But I promise I will kill you
If you ever kiss and tell

I
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