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"HER PARIS"


I see you smiling with your 
eyes towards subjects you now 
engage yourself with.
I see your hands moving 
across your phone.
I see the plans you've made 
give you the happiness you 
chose not to have with me.
others want you and you want 
them but...not me.
you're in the ivory tower, 
I'm in a madhouse looking out 
the barred windows.
I loved the way you used to 
look at me and how you told 
me everything. 
you don't look at me much now 
and everything you once 
would've told me is buried in 
silence.
we used to do everything 
together but now you do it 
with others and that too, you 
bury.
you spend your time with 
others that you've known 
longer.
you don't answer my texts 
much anymore. 
you disappear when happiness 
is on your front porch.
I remember when you said I 
used to make you happy.
I still do... only, it's if 
I'm away from you.
I still do... only, it's when 
I'm locked inside my mad box 
wondering, wondering, 
wondering and listening to 
Beethoven.
I'd love you even if you 
stood outside my four 
cornered room while I hid 
with my cigarette and did 
nothing.
I read once, "all lovers betray."
is this what that meant?

you heard of my suicide from 
a friend while you were out 
by a lake. 
you placed your beer down, 
took a drag from your smoke, 
propped up your fishing pole, 
told them you’d be back and 
walked to the edge of the 
water.
you can see yourself in the 
ripples of your happiness as 
those you now spend your time 
with, those you answer your 
phone for, those you reply 
to, those you don't ignore 
and smile.
I knew I'd still make you happy... 
even if it was with my death inside 
your Paris.


By: Chicano Eddie

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