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***Part 1 of the series, Not Focused (written entirely by J.W. Earnings)***

Resurrect my hushed, pleading voice from the dead
Give me Your water and nourish me with serenity 
Renew my rejoicing spirits, wholesome like bread 
Wandering in the wilderness of unharmed vitality

Set my gaze from zealous heights above
Allow me to go forward without distractions
I apologize for my downfalls of jaded love
I’m not focused due to expired satisfactions 

With sincere humility and oh so apologetically,
I focus on walking Your precious, narrow pathway
Oh my God, help me to be focused completely
I was not focused – doused in detrimental dismay

It’s not clear that you left me here 
With hardly any kind of chandelier-hanging cheer
I don’t have enough energy to fear, 
So the extra insecurities set aflame won’t draw near

I long for Your forbearance
I need your acknowledgment 
I yearn for Your deliverance
Waiting to receive Your discernment 

You appreciate my anticipation and all 
You have accepted my faithful prayer passionately
With knowledge of never-ending nirvana 
Your audacious, gracious righteousness is my liberty 

Oh, of course, I don’t need to be ashamed or let down 
By your ungrateful, terrible, worn-out frown all over town 
I will not be embedded by your doubtful discouragement 
I will not be affected greatly by your vulgar resentment  

Deliver my lost soul out of worthless captivity 
I don’t want to be a prisoner to your awful reality 
Motivate me by ardent gratification that I won't take for granite 
Show me that You are genuinely affectionate and considerate 

Glad You understand my point of view and made me feel slightly more adequate 
Adulate my progress and achievements that I worked hard for
I have approached so many difficult times, but I won’t drop my guard and quit
Articulate my speech that has been spoken to the deepest core

I have discovered Your wisdom underneath the world's corrupted deception 
There, lies a beneficial benevolence that replenishes the roots of redemption 
I put my brave face on and chase away the callous coward that manifested in me 
The dangerous, delusional Earth gave birth to destructive violence and vanity 

When will the confusion and manipulation come to an end? 
How can I take a break from society when it's an endless errand? 
Beloved darling, you deserted me and conjured up commotion 
I want to belong and be Your everything, so I will be Your devotion 

Your extraordinary empathy is the candle that illuminates my dim eyesight 
It is somewhat a struggle to handle the truth of being an one-of-a-kind light
I won’t be an ignorant, ill-tempered individual, for You adore a cheerful giver
I might as well overflow with confident courage and forget my neglectful traitor 

I am determined to be all-the-more dependent on You 
Instead of complaining about what I’ve gone through 
I will never even contemplate about ditching your dynamic, dire diligence
You deserve recognition and praise for Your wonderful mercy in abundance 

Eager to engage in encouraging scriptures first and foremost – I am honored to invite in His Holy Ghost 
I will express your essence of forgiveness through loving forbearance
Also, it must enlighten the few prudent, earnest people that don’t spread rumors and arrogantly boast
Only the faithful and compassionate few cherish a lovely fidelity fragrance 

Fortitude's interlude will elevate my traumatized ears definitely
I have heard rejection and hopelessness for many years frankly 
Fascinate me sevenfold with flawless freedom that is beyond brilliant 
I am severely hurt by the absence of past friends that I deemed significant 

I apologize ahead of time for being unfocused and using my time tactlessly and foolishly 
All these articulate lines I have written are authentic and raw with honesty honestly 
How gracious and beautiful is Your goodwill that eternally puts me in a very good mood
I know I haven’t been focused on positivity lately…all because I have been misunderstood 

It is almost five o'clock AM and I am still up, typing these words down with racing notions
You can no longer fix me, for I am a million shards of glass, scattered on the wooden floor
Up all night for this unbearable insomnia's pleasure beyond measure, saturating my emotions 
Marinated in mixed emotions that I became accustomed to…opening ajar distractions' door 

There is plenty of reasons why I was not focused daily like a failure, isolated with my only device
I am sailing on successful shores and against colliding waves of zig-zagging tribulation…think twice!
Taking lifelong risks and advice comes with a price
You must find an exit to the maze like miniscule mice..
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