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Stuck in between races

I stand melanin enough because all my fellow people think they grew up with the struggles they heard from you. 
I stand here because your daughter was accused of being racist.
See you stand here with a shocked look on your face but you never did when you told her how irrelevant you were treated back in the day. 
You never did when you re-spoke history into her ears.
Your daughter is of colour and was accused of being racist. 
You sit here with your jaw wide open, wondering where she ever got it from, heard it from, saw it from. 
Wondering how blacks can be racist. 
All those comments you made at the time weren't just convenient, they were remembered and repeated. 
Your daughter was racist not to someone of a lighter colour
But to someone with a darker colour and you wonder where she picked it up from
You re-spoke unwritten history and you daughter made it the history.
See I just painted a pretty picture of a special occasion. 
An occasion that went from special to normal. 
How I feel like I'm obliged to feel my parents pain while trying to walk in my own shoes. 
How thoughtful of me to even consider breathing in the same room as them. 
How selfish of them to not even apologise 
I stand here writing a story on behalf of a race that never had a voice 
A voice they lost years ago not because they existed but because they are suffering just like me but see for them it's unintentional
I apologise for your lack of a better word, your pain 
The suffering you're going through all because your 4 fathers thought they had left a legacy 
A foot print maybe 
Maybe even a sign 
But all they did was leave you to be swallowed up by a bitter race that wants nothing to do with you. 
I stand here trying to be remorseful but the more I write the more I realise you don't deserve a spokesperson 
I promised I'd never touch on this topic but if I don't then I'm just another failed presenter right 
A failed project like your people did. 
You've had so many that many of mine have died, died all because healing the world was more important than avoiding the chaos all together 
You've had greater opportunities to redeem yourself but your pride got in the way. 
My pride is my way and I'm not sorry because if I did apologise, I'd do it to just make your heart stop beating fast enough like it's about to pop out of your chest because you're guilty of not standing up for yourself. 
My daughter was racist towards someone of her colour because she never could tell the difference. 
~Low-Key Poet??
-Sihle Simelane
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